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The bombs were falling on Britain when S. J. Simon sat down to write Why You Lose at Bridge and I imagine he was finding it a challenge to keep his mind occupied, what with his regular partners getting drawn into war work. (A pity, really, as bridge is such a wonderful distraction. When youre playing a hand, particularly a dicey one in a contract that you bid, nothing else matters. Not even the blitz.) So heres his advice on how to play a smarter game, set down before computers could calculate the odds of making this or that contract with x number of HCPs. More art than science, in other words, although mathematics is not neglected. A lot has changed since 1940, in bridge and in the world at large. Simons casual anti-Semitism and knee-jerk misogyny stands out, at least for this reader:Mrs. Winklestein always fiddles with her diamond ring when she is bluffing. A bad bid with a good partner -- three Diamonds is correct. With Mrs. Guggenheim, however, the bid is pardonable for she is quite capable of bidding three No Trumps over a three Diamonds . . .The other bad player examples he comes up with are generic males: Mr. Smug, Futile Willie, The Unlucky Expert. Why name Mrs. Guggenheim (a total dolt) and Mrs. Winkleman, I cant help wondering? Did he have a problem with Jewish women at the bridge table?Nevertheless, Simons analysis helped me think more strategically.The last time I played bridge was in 1974, but I was determined to get back up to speed for the cruise. I read it alongside a more up-to-date manual Bridge Basics 1: An Introduction, then started lurking on Bridge Base Online, watching master players, soon graduated to playing a few games against the robots before bed. When I boarded the ship in Hong Kong, I was ready. In the first duplicate tournament I played, my partner and I took first! Nobody was more surprised than I was, and I never again matched that high, but I will continue to learn from Simon and may venture back to BBO to play real (virtual) humans, from time to time, now that Im back on dry land.

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